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I Am Back !




Not that it matters and not that I expect anyone had noticed, but to those who sent me "where are you?" I would like to say I am back. Not only that I am officially returning to VFRD after nearly 2 months break but I have also ridden my Hawk last weekend and had FUN! Let me restate that; I had major fun riding! Something I have almost given up on.

Most of you have been riding your whole adult lives and riding is not only a hobby to you, it is part of you. But I started riding three years ago and even though I have encounter some setbacks, till this spring I loved riding with whole my heart. However, I have always considered riding as my hobby. As a hobby which suppose to make my life better, more fun and more rich. Life is too short to do something which we don't fully love.

My love of riding received a first major scar this spring: I lost a friend on the racetrack. He was a total stranger who offered me his help after I lowsided at CMP track last year. I still remember hearing his "Hi, my name is Todd, do you need help?" while I was duct-taping my roadrash from ripped jacket. He helped me straighten up the shifter and we kept in touch. The next time we saw each other was the day he died.

With 9 months delay, I can say that Todd's death shook me more than I have realized. It rooted fear in me which was fueled by seeing and hearing about others getting hurt over and over again. If I was to summarize this year - it would be one big accident report. I became sensitive to every broken bone, every roadrash, every lowside. And even though I did 10 track days this year, I became slower and slower and slower. Suddenly, I have acquired this 'grandma' riding style on the road, frozen with fear that behind every corner there is car standing in my lane, or major sand trap or deer staring at me ... I was crippled with fear not only for me about also for my fellow rider.

So, at the end of this year, I rode more and more by myself. I could not bear the feelings of responsibility for others on the road and my lines were crippled by my own fears. It all culminated this fall at WDGAH. In a freaky accident Love2rideh82crash was taken down by a truck crossing into our lane. I was done. I finished the weekend, locked the VFR into a garage and took a break.

Until the last weekend, I pretended that motorcycles do not exists. As a last instance after 2 months break from riding, I decided to go to CMP track to see if I can still have fun. I also felt like I should go for the memory of Todd. I went and I had fun! I had much more fun than I expected and the most fun on track I can remember. Suddenly the whole track connected into an uninterupted line of turns and I felt one with the bike riding around! I was giggling like a little girl in my helmet and keep on giggling ever since smile.gif

Granted I was not the fastest one and through out the weekend, I have never exceeded about 60% of my riding abilities, but I had no "oh-shit" nor 'blond' moments. I could have maybe go faster, I could have brake later for the turns and I could have lean further, but I am no Rossi nor Stoner. I decided to ride for fun and I had amazing blast riding well within my comfort zone.

I was proud of myself when, after bandaging Ricks arm, I was able to distance myself and go back to riding without the year-long fear. I did feel bad for him but the feelings were not crippling my lines nor my mind. And when a total stranger came to me and said "Hi, my name is Todd", my heart stopped for a minute though but I suddenly knew that my life went a full circle. I probably will never win MotoGP :idea3: , but I am back! :wheel:

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Guest PJ in NJ



Great to see that you are back. I enjoyed riding with you at WDGAH last year, and knew that you were off your game.

We still had a good group and a great riding day. Even your flat tire could not slow us down! I'm sure I speak for Greg as well, you can ride with us anytime. Finding good people to ride with is often difficult, if not impossible. I am very fortunate to be riding with Greg for about 15 years. Greg and I are like two bikes with one brain (don't know if that is good or not! LOL).

2 years ago at WDGAH I rode with Larry from CT. We just "clicked". We even rode to COTU last year (he got 5 flats in one day, long story on the "big list" if you have not read it). But our styles and speed made it an easy ride for both of us.

I consider myself very fortunate as to have met and ridden with some fantastic people.

Hope to see you at one of the events again.


PJ in NJ

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Welcome back, Martina!

I think we all have moments when a little self-doubt creeps in and makes us second-guess ourselves, our skills, or even riding at all. I don't have many of those moments, thank God, but they do happen. Glad to hear you have overcome them!

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  • Member Contributer

Good deal.

I was wondering, but the energy wasn't bad, just a little weak. I've noticed you've been on the last few days, so that just comfirmed that whatever was going on, it was settling. I'm glad you got your groove back. As you know, I personally, have never felt the need to push the edge of the envelope. It's not a necessity, for a biker to be a racer. Though some would argue that point, with me.

Everyone has there times. I've seen the look in your eyes, after a ride. It is definatly a part of you, even if you think it's just a hobby, in your mind. I know better. It is part of your soul.

Welcome back!

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  • Member Contributer

I also have been wondering where you have been. I'm happy for you that you have come back to the enjoyment side of riding. May '08 be a safer and better year for all of us and our friends.

Welcome back...

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Far freaken out Martina!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup:

That is wonderful news. Mental is such a Major part of riding and plays a big role in the good or bad of our riding. Sounds like you took a great approach to it and on your own terms that seemed to do the trick for you.

The bad side of mental riding can take you down a very dark road as you know, but just the right experience can bring the pure joy and love of the sport back in full force. I'm very happy that you seem to have cross that barrier from the dark side, congratulations!!!!!!!!!! :thumbsup: :thumbsup: :thumbsup:


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I feel you Martina. I too have went through this same thought process after my third crash this year. But thanks to help from BR, I kept working on the issues and finally got it all out of my head and am back better than ever. I think that is the big point of motorcycle riding and especially VFRD; while you are riding on the bike alone for the most part, you are part of a larger group of people who love the sport you love and more importantly, care about you. Glad your path has found its way back.

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  • Member Contributer

Glad you're back Martina.........HAVING FUN RIDING A MOTORCYCLE IS ALL THERE IS TO IT...........if you need anything, you know how to reach me.......... :thumbsup:

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Guest Gap Trash


Get back in that saddle!!! Riding isn't about going fast it's about having fun. If you are at a track day and get lapped by everyone in your class 3 times in a session and you have fun, who cares? As Skuuter says "I'll ride mine my way" Hang in there, all of us that have been riding very long have been through what you are going through, some of us hang up our leathers after someone we know has an accident, it's a personal choice. Sounds like you are back in the game though, just be careful out there and everything will be okay.

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  • Member Contributer

That ROCKS!! Glad to see you around again. We need a few level headed women around to keep life in prospective!

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  • Member Contributer

Sorry to hear of your pain, Martina. From experience, I can say that time does heal a lot of wounds. Getting back in the saddle can be a great healer too. So glad for you!

It's always great to hear that someone has transitioned so that they can have fun again with something that does carry risk. Life is a risk so I always thought it best to just go ahead and get the most out of it while we can.

Glad you're back and keep on keeping on!! :thumbsup:

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  • Member Contributer

Welcome back!

Missed ya :)

I am also a newcomer to "the sport".

Sometimes I enjoy riding and sometimes riding feels like a chore - I am OK with not riding if I don't feel like it.

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Wow, that was a very nice piece to read. Thanks for posting that!

In my neck of the woods, 2007 was a very bad year for accidents too. More than once I have questioned my mortality if I continue to ride. But I sure can't seem to get it the riding bug out of my head. I think about bikes and riding them every single day. Maybe winter isn't such a bad thing after all, gives me some time off to re-evaluate and if anything, it's 4 months of not worry about a big forest rat jumping out in front of me or a truck crossing into my line :thumbsup:

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Dearest Martina,

Like you, I only began this sport about 3 years ago. And while I love it ... I understand, all too well, how accidents and losses of people we care about can turn that love into trepidation and fear.

Having said that, I'm so glad to see you coming back to the fold.


p.s. does this mean we can get our female endurance race team together now??? :P

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  • Member Contributer

Me, too.  I have no idea when I logged on last.  Prolly been three years at least.

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