Member Contributer Dan Posted February 25, 2007 Member Contributer Share Posted February 25, 2007 Hi Gang, About 10 years ago my wife and I bought a couple of bikes. We rode together a few times but I was a lousy leader back then. I was impatient and added so much stress to the situation that she never really found it enjoyable. To be more specific, she never got past the nervousnessness of being on a bike to ever actually "get it." Here I am, 10 years later and back on a bike. I'd love to help my wife get back on and am willing to ride at any pace or any speed until such time comes as she "gets it." I know that I can tell her this and it will help but what I'm not sure of is what I can say to help her realize that there is a whole new world for you after you do finally "get it." Any input you guys/gals might have will be appreciated. Thanks, Dan PS: Mods, if this is not the right place for this thread, please feel free to move it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 In 40+ years of ride'n the one thing I have learned, never talk anyone into ride'n; the risks are too great. Sorry, I guess I was not much help :wheel: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Misspent Youth Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 In my opinion, riding is something you want to do, not something you should be talked into. There's too much downside. My wife tried it on a scooter, had trouble mastering the coordination required (she was in her early 40s and hadn't done any similar activity), had a couple of minor spills, and decided riding wasn't for her. I never questioned her decision, knowing it was better for somebody who didn't "need" to ride not to be on a bike. She's been a content passenger ever since. Same with my sister, who thought she wanted to learn to ride a scooter in her 30s. She bought one, tried it a few times, had a minor parking lot tipover, and parked it. I've never chided her to ride it or even to sell it. I didn't think it was a good idea to put someone on a bike who was scared to be there. A rider needs all of his/her faculties clear when riding - not dealing with disappointing a spouse, etc. Them's my thoughts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Hey Dan, I've taught alot of MSF courses, and one thing I'd say is that some people just aren't as passionate about riding as others. Also, some people that are really nervous about riding are usually the ones that aren't that passionate about it. You might consider she may never 'get it'. I know that's kinda obvious, but having an objective view point, especially for a spouse, can be difficult. As a matter of fact, as a rule, we would not allow a spouse (usually a husband) on the range while the SO was taking the course. They would always try to coach, and usually made the SO very nervous. Ok, now aside from all that, I'd say it would be best to just be supportive, not pushy. Let her decide if it's something she wants to venture into again. And I would say to her, if you haven't already, exactly what you said to us, about your behavior in the past. I bet that could help alot. Good luck to both you and your wife! Regards, Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Contributer Dan Posted February 25, 2007 Author Member Contributer Share Posted February 25, 2007 All of these comments, so far, are truly appreciated. Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 All of these comments, so far, are truly appreciated. Dan Yep, they have been right on.....someone has to WANT it first.....doing it for someone else only guarantees a very sad eventual situation of a crash. My wife came to me with the desire to ride when we were dating. Took MSF, and started, but never did it enough to get very proficient, and I did as you did, pushed her a bit too much which led to that eventual crash I mentioned. I took her on a very twisty road before she was ready. Luckily, it was minor, but it left her with doubts and apprehension. Fast forward 3 years and she still isn't riding much, so we sit down and take a hard look at her desires. If she wants to continue riding, she has to start doing more of it, and possibly take a school. She decides she wants to continue so we sign her up for Keith Code. The rest is history, she's now taken Code level 2 and 3, and is a very confident and efficient rider. Through my journey's this is what I have to say 1. Let them decide to ride (already said this) 2. Sign them up for a school (Code, preferably, its very conducive to the way woman want to learn) 3. Go Slow, be open to whatever direction they want to go (meaning if they want to ride a cruiser, let her). This is a big one, our journey went through the cruiser phase after her crash. I had forced her on a sportbike, and because of her size and stature, most sportbikes were not comfortable. Luckily, she didn't like the cruiser position, and we settled on a Ninja 250 which she loved. 4. Let her pick her bike.......goes with # 3. Here is my wifes journey of bikes. Kawi EX500 (the one she crashed) 1995-1998 (crashed in 96) Honda Nighthawk 250 (this is the one we got after the crash as she was very intimidated and apprehensive) 98-00 Kawi ZL600 Eliminator (the cruiser phase) 00-00 (she hated it, and only had it for 6 months) Kawi EX250 (this is what she took the Code class on) 00-04 Kawi EX500 - 04-05 Ducati Monster 620 (she's in love) 05 to present 5. Find a riding club (goal here is to get her around other woman riders)...just not one of fast riding hooligans. We belong to a HRCA chapter and have meant a variety of riders 6. If she's a forum type of person....there are many woman forums out there to get her talking to other woman riders (get some positive female comments and a shot of confidence) 7. Go on rides that they want to go on. I can't tell you how many rides we went on just using freeways because she was afraid of corners (until the Code class of course...now its all back roads and twisties). 8. Never be afraid to say.....you know what, maybe riding isn't for you. Thats it in a nutshell. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Contributer gll429 Posted February 25, 2007 Member Contributer Share Posted February 25, 2007 put a "snack" under the seat.. then take her for a short ride...! :thumbsup: Once again edited for content. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Contributer Dan Posted February 25, 2007 Author Member Contributer Share Posted February 25, 2007 I'm sorry but your comment was tasteless and uncalled for. Please refrain from comments like this about my wife. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Contributer dr.toto Posted February 25, 2007 Member Contributer Share Posted February 25, 2007 If you are happy having your wife as the person she is, I suggest that you give up. My wife rode for a couple of years. Then her bike started sitting alot. She finally said to sell it. I didn't ask to many questions because I knew that she was uncomfortable with some part of it. I'm very happy that she doesn't care that I ride lots. There comes a point to not press an issue with one's mate. I know that you are looking for ways to make the situation better but I'm not able to provide an answer. I found it better to let my wife be her and me to be the crazy one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hobie1dog Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 Dan: I'll have to agree with the general concensus from the above posts.....let her make the decision totally on her own as you don't want this to come back and haunt you. One bike wreck is sometimes too much, so I would remain silent until she comes to you and discusses her desires to ride or not. Just my worthless 2 cents worth. :blink: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Contributer wgnorman Posted February 25, 2007 Member Contributer Share Posted February 25, 2007 I was making some progress with my wife - we had a nice 2400 mile trip to Maine this last year in August on the V-Strom - unfortunately, on Dec 30th I dropped the Interceptor on her foot and broke her ankle in 3 places - don't know now if she will want to ride again :blink: I'm trying not to push her - but since riding is what I do - it is hard not to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KanadianKen Posted February 25, 2007 Share Posted February 25, 2007 put a "snack' under the seat.. then take her for a short ride...! :thumbsup: I think Trace had some "in the seat" contraption on one of his bikes - and it yielded excellent results. I don't think Squirrelboy is making a statement about your wife Dan, hell - ALL of our wives (whether they'd admit it or not) might get a kick out of a portable washing machine and the effects it might generate!! I gotta say - I'm laughing at that one!! :salesman: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Member Contributer Dan Posted February 26, 2007 Author Member Contributer Share Posted February 26, 2007 Nothing personal, Ken but we are all entitled to our opinions. I'm glad it gave you a chuckle. I felt the comment was tasteless, regardless of who it was talking about. Thanks to everyone who contributed positively to this post. I'll take your suggestions into consideration. Topic closed. Best, Dan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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