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Killed By Mattress

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martinkap

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On Saturday, I decided to visit my friend in New Jersey. I zoomed through George Washington Bridge and enjoyed about 20 miles of nice freeway speed.

Soon, I turned into his neighborhood. I remembered that the last time, I was almost hit by a car coming onto a street from nearby parking lot and thus slowed down. I was on the typical road in the shopping rural area. Two lanes each way, hard median and rather wide shoulder on the side.

I kept my distance from ugly looking SUV in front of me and scanned for incoming traffic from the side.

When suddenly, the SUV back doors opened and the driver hit the brakes. The distance which was safe moment ago shrank immediately. I hit the brakes and swearved to the inside lane. The SUV driver also start swearving but luckily towards the shoulder. And as he was in the middle of his swearving, a huge mattress comes out from the back door and goes flying on the road. The swearving car motion and the speed caused the mattress to rotate and smash it on the pavement right in front of me... It rotated and slided towards me as it was still in its protective plastic. Luckily, I finished swearving and barely missed a corner coming into my path...

My heart was pounding while I was turning to my friends driveway.

"What a stupid way to die!", I thought, "Killed by mattress while riding a motorcycle!"

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One time I was riding my Hawk down the interstate at 80 MPH and the guy right in front of me drove his Vette into the mouth of a 10' diameter plastic tub that fell off the back of a flatbed truck. He had a wild ride but walked away. The Vette was totaled. I stopped but wasn't much help 'cause I just kept shaking thinking about what would have happened if I had been him. Of course, if I had been him i wouldn't have been tailgating that truck...

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Glad to hear you missed it, and you were OK!

About 15 years ago, I was taking a favorite uphill cloverleaf 270 between freeways near Seattle. About halfway through, while in a nice, steady-state hard right, I spotted something white right on my line ahead. I let the front end ease out, lifted the bike a little, and as it passed below, I saw a partly open disposable diaper fully loaded with greasy baby-poop. If my front end had hit that I'd have been down faster than sh*t. Slipperier than deer-guts on a doorknob.

Looked a lot like a big, stinky flower laying there. :(

keith

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