Thanks for the help ShipFixer, yeah I agree on the logic about the ports in the stock valve being much smaller therefore not using quite the same shimstack as the comparable Gold Valves. I figure with the Maxima 5wt at 15.9cst@40C and the smaller holes, along with just the right shim stack I can make it all work. I just wish I had access to a shim stack program.
So I put it all together today and ended up adding a .10x15 shim in the stack and overall it seems to feel much better than the last iteration! I really don't understand why Honda added the 2 super thick shims in the bottom of the stack and I may take those out. With the thickness of the shim stack the nut doesn't have as much to hang on to and even though it's held on by red loctite, I'd feel better if the shaft were flush with the end of the nut at least. Actually, I think the 20x8.2 shim is a fulcrum which needs to be there and the 40x11.3 is a spacer shim which I'll take out the next time I play with it.