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tbzep

Should Have Called it a Day

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I took off on the RWB VFR this morning with plans to meet some guys for breakfast and do some riding. The high today is supposed to be nearly 15 degrees lower than the last several weeks at only 85, so I was looking forward to getting some comfortable seat time. About a mile from home I noticed the bike getting wallowy. I picked up a sheet rock screw. Crap. I nursed it back home and plugged it. Now comes my only mistake of the day. I got back on the bike and again set out to breakfast instead of calling it a day. About 17 miles into the breakfast run and about 3 miles from the restaurant, I saw three buzzards (turkey vultures) take off away from me. I got back into the gas. Unfortunately a forth, previously hidden behind the deer carcass, took off right across my bow. I only had time to chop the throttle and duck, already thinking of Scooter??? (from Texas running a CBR1000RR on the previous incarnation of VFR.D forum). The bird squared up the nose of my bike and nicked the back of my helmet as he tumbled over me. VFR.D veterans will remember Scuuter or Scooter, or something like that. I'm not sure Scooter was even his handle, but I do remember he was from Texas and it was a CBR1000RR.  I didn't recognize a forum name when I searched.  He hammered a buzzard at a pretty decent clip and was hospitalized for a good while.

 

I turned around and checked on the bird. He was about to be in the same condition as his meal, and smelled about the same. He was paralyzed, breathing hard, and looking at me, blinking but not moving. He didn't suffer long for you PETA folks. I got off and looked at the bike. Busted headlight, dislodged windscreen with at least one tab broken that I could see, and the trim piece on the inside of the windscreen was broken off and gone. There may be more damage once I tear into it, but the headlight alone is going to hit around $200. Needless to say, I rode the next three miles with my head on a swivel, ate breakfast, rode the straightest most open route home, and parked the bike. Bad things seem to come in threes. Our fire calls more often than not seem to be bunched into threes...not really bad for us, but for whoever we respond to. I don't want to be on two wheels when the third one comes so even though it's perfectly ridable, the bike is parked until it gets fixed. Next ride will obviously be on the gray VFR, but only after the bad ju ju has expired so I don't get the bad day trifecta.  One positive note...he didn't shit all over me. 

 

He's staring at me...

20170730_083434.jpg

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1 hour ago, tbzep said:

I took off on the RWB VFR this morning with plans to meet some guys for breakfast and do some riding. The high today is supposed to be nearly 15 degrees lower than the last several weeks at only 85, so I was looking forward to getting some comfortable seat time. About a mile from home I noticed the bike getting wallowy. I picked up a sheet rock screw. Crap. I nursed it back home and plugged it. Now comes my only mistake of the day. I got back on the bike and again set out to breakfast instead of calling it a day. About 17 miles into the breakfast run and about 3 miles from the restaurant, I saw three buzzards (turkey vultures) take off away from me. I got back into the gas. Unfortunately a forth, previously hidden behind the deer carcass, took off right across my bow. I only had time to chop the throttle and duck, already thinking of Scooter??? (from Texas running a CBR1000RR on the previous incarnation of VFR.D forum). The bird squared up the nose of my bike and nicked the back of my helmet as he tumbled over me. VFR.D veterans will remember Scuuter or Scooter, or something like that. I'm not sure Scooter was even his handle, but I do remember he was from Texas and it was a CBR1000RR.  I didn't recognize a forum name when I searched.  He hammered a buzzard at a pretty decent clip and was hospitalized for a good while.

 

I turned around and checked on the bird. He was about to be in the same condition as his meal, and smelled about the same. He was paralyzed, breathing hard, and looking at me, blinking but not moving. He didn't suffer long for you PETA folks. I got off and looked at the bike. Busted headlight, dislodged windscreen with at least one tab broken that I could see, and the trim piece on the inside of the windscreen was broken off and gone. There may be more damage once I tear into it, but the headlight alone is going to hit around $200. Needless to say, I rode the next three miles with my head on a swivel, ate breakfast, rode the straightest most open route home, and parked the bike. Bad things seem to come in threes. Our fire calls more often than not seem to be bunched into threes...not really bad for us, but for whoever we respond to. I don't want to be on two wheels when the third one comes so even though it's perfectly ridable, the bike is parked until it gets fixed. Next ride will obviously be on the gray VFR, but only after the bad ju ju has expired so I don't get the bad day trifecta.  One positive note...he didn't shit all over me. 

 

He's staring at me...

20170730_083434.jpg

Slipped this mortal coil, gone to meet its maker, deceased.......

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This parrot is dead.

 

Nah, he's hibernating.

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WOW!!!   good thing you didnot get it full head on your helmet!!!

Here's hoping a kind VFRD member has a headlight gathering dust..... 

 

 

 

And you are ab so lu te ly right on the "3 count" as I can attest. I pushed on after "count 2" one Sunday.......... and paid the concequences :mellow:

 

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2 hours ago, Skids said:

This parrot is dead.

 

Nah, he's hibernating.

Beautiful bird, lovely plumage!  :D

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OP, scoreboard reads:

 

West Tennessee's Bravest  1, F$&#^*g no good scavenging carrion eater  0

 

Glad you didn't get a TBI! 

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5 hours ago, tbzep said:

  One positive note...he didn't shit all over me. 

 

 

Turkey Vultures' defensive mechanism is to projectile vomit all over you.  It is even nastier than I imagine their shit would be.  

 

There is a large group of vultures that roost about a mile from our house (and have for twenty years or more in the same tree).   One the way home from work one day, I rounded a corner in the neighborhood to find one munching on a dead rabbit in the road.   I was going slow and impact wasn't a concern, but as that monster bird lifted off, it puked all over me and my bike.   The smell was disgusting.   I made a beeline for the nearest car wash and hosed down the bike and talked another patron into hosing me down as I stood and turned in my suit and helmet.

 

I also got shit on by some kind of ocean bird once in the middle of the Pacific.  Not a speck of land, another person, or another boat in sight.   That bird nailed me.   It was like someone dropped a 20 oz, rotted-fish smoothie on me.   I'm not a big fan of birds.

 

A bird that size would definitely cause some hurt when hit, either to the bike or rider.   Better the bike than you.

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Better the bird than you. Man it has an ugly head.

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31 minutes ago, amo said:

It has ceased to be!

 

Better replace it then. :happy:

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I'm pretty lucky.  If there had been a squirrel on the other side of the road to command my attention I may have never seen it coming and got drilled in the chest. Even if the impact didn't knock me off, the surprise probably would have ended my day with some asphalt surfing.  I see them crap all the time when they take off, to lighten their load so to speak. This one didn't. I'm thankful for the little things in life.  

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For those who missed the relevance. Apologies to the OP.

Monty Python Scripts

Dead Parrot

The cast:

MR. PRALINE
John Cleese
SHOP OWNER
Michael Palin

The sketch:

A customer enters a pet shop.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

(The owner does not respond.)

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

Mr. Praline: (pause)I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you show...

(owner hits the cage)

Owner: There, he moved!

Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

Owner: I never!!

Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

Owner: I never, never did anything...

Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

(Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there.

(pause)

Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisible!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

(pause)

Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh, we're right out of parrots.

Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

Owner: (pause) I got a slug.

(pause)

Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

Owner: Nnnnot really.

Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

Mr. Praline: Well.

(pause)

Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

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I've taken a small bird to the chest while at speed and it hurt like hell, I cannot imagine what a bird of that size would have felt like. Really glad you are unscathed, sorry about the bike. But you realize it could have been worse and wisely called it a day. Smart man. Good luck on the repairs! Heck, maybe this is an opportunity to do some modifications?

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12 hours ago, marriedman said:

 Good luck on the repairs! Heck, maybe this is an opportunity to do some modifications?

It's got a freshly ventilated headlight, what more could a guy want?  :tongue:

It is about time for an oil change so I'll do that and take a good look at the brake pads.  I'd love a power commander for both bikes, but can't justify the cost of one, much less two of them.  It already has a powerlet, helibars, pazzo knockoffs, +2 rear sprocket, and speedo healer so it's about as tricked out as I want.  I actually like the OEM clipons on the gray VFR better than the helibars but the guy I bought the bike from didn't have the OEM's so I'm keeping them.  I've thought seriously about putting CBR suspension bits from DMr on it like I have on the gray one, but have decided to leave it stock for the foreseeable future.

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I've taken a wood pigeon to the head once at about 80MPH, MAN that hurt!   Luckily the motorway (Highway) I was on was pretty clear so I managed to stay upright. Pigeon didn't fare so well

 

Pigeon bits and feathers all over the option and I had a sore neck for a couple of weeks. AND I had to get the visor mechanism replaced on my Helmet. Apparently they had to pick bits out of there too.

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