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I've Lost That Lovin' Feeling


SEBSPEED

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I've been in denial for a while now, but I'm afraid I've lost my desire to ride.

It was probably about 5 years ago that I started noticing this, but I think I just found things to blame, like making time for my bike projects, or the carpal tunnel syndrome I've recently found partial resolution for, to keep me from realizing the truth.

I started riding about 20yrs ago. I can remember being really, really excited about getting a bike. Owning a bike. Riding the bike. That first week with my license!! Doing a trackday. Picking up a girl. Going to bed reliving a day's ride no matter how short, and waking up with key in hand and the scent of gasoline in my nostrils, ready to go again no matter where.

I don't have it anymore. I don't know why. I just don't have the urge anymore. It makes me sad. I think buying a brand new bike would be exciting, but as soon as I start thinking about "what would I buy if I had means to?", my mind immediately jumps to thoughts of having to do maintenance, cleaning, and basically I just get weighed down by all the downsides and it saps the fun out of it.

Maybe that's why it was fun earlier on? When I was still learning what complete ownership and responsibility entailed? I can't afford to pay for shop maintenance, that's why I do all my own work, and it's also how I learned so much about care, tuning, and maintenance. I took a good portion of those savings and rolled them into tools needed to do more work. Which turned into acquiring project bikes - bikes I could not afford to buy in turnkey condition, but knew I could fix.

Now I have a garage full of bikes and I can't figure out if I'm living a dream or a nightmare. So much work. I used to just go for a ride to get a quick escape. Take a day and get away. Today, I had my VFR sitting in my driveway all day with the key in it, ready to go, and I couldn't be bothered to take it out for a spin. I can't figure out exactly why.

Is it because I feel selfish if I don't take the wife or boy with me? Is it because I can't do the speed limit anywhere? I can't afford track days anymore, and I feel like I'd get bored of those too. I'm not fast enough to be a racer(can't afford it either), so at that point I'm just spending a ton of money to look at the same set of curves over and over.

I find myself not really enjoying company on rides, but not going by myself either because it's boring. I just don't get it.

I've lost it, and I think I care, but I'm not sure...

Have any of you also felt this way?

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Yep! But mine has been largely caused by crashes. I have been getting better, but it takes time. I put on a new set of tires for TMac '14. I drove to Knoxville for vacation before and met my bike transported by CornerCarver in Franklin. I rode a day with Ken and Amy and rally enjoyed myself. The next day I really couldn't convince myself I wanted to continue, so I told the group I was done and went to the Microtel. I wanted to stay, but ended up packing up the car and going home. Barely rode between then and Fall Ride, aside from commuting. You know how many miles we did in NY, and I wasn't too concerned about it. I finally changed the tires again before TMac '15. Now I have a new rear waiting for me. If it hadn't rained all week I would have a new tire and a 100k mile VFR.

I still can't really reconcile group rides. I compromised and found that meeting out of town people somewhere allows me a reason to go somewhere and still have the ride to myself. TMac this year I only bailed on one group because the speeds were just way too high and I have a CDL to consider. But I didn't go home this time!

I hope you can figure it out. If you don't want to do it, don't force it. I still want to explore new roads now that I'm in a new location with a ton of new places, but I still find it hard to go. I have the old fav's, but then I feel like I'm just wasting time and gas doing the same ol' thing.

I still like to commute, but I find it's for economy reasons. Still fun, of course. But that damn ST is so friggan hot that it's barely worth it. Only because my job isn't an air conditioned desk job makes it reasonable; going to shower anyway...LOL

When I "raced", I pitted with a friend of mine and his uncle who rode old 2 stroke Yamahas. He would pay for and come to the practice day on Saturdays, but barely rode. Seemed like he worked on them more than he lapped them. I don't think he even owned a street bike. I think he just wanted to get out of the house and tinker with his bikes.

I totalled my VFR Oct '13. I had to tear it completely down, take the frame to get a mount re-welded, and put it back together after finding and/or repairing a bunch of other stuff. I think I enjoyed that a lot more than most riding I've done. I got to work in my friend's shop for a little while back when I lived in FL, and really enjoyed that. Mostly because I could take apart peoples bikes that weren't mine.

I doubt if I've offered any answers. I've known plenty of "Live to Ride, Ride to Live", "Four Wheels Move the Body, Two Wheels Move the Soul" people, but I'm not one of them. I wish them the best, but it's just a fun thing I do from time to time. Cars have their place too, and I really have enjoyed owning and working on my German V8 luxury liner just as much as the bikes. And it goes through the twisties really nicely with the radio and A/C and/or windows and sun roof open!

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Everything's exciting when it's new. I felt the same way about baseball when I played as a kid - it was all I thought about. Now some decades later, I can't even stand to sit through watching a baseball game - it bores me to tears. The same thing happened when I was flying. As a student I couldn't wait to drive out to the airport. Over time what I discovered about that was that I needed a mission - a reason to be up there. As it was I was just up cruising around and there were only so many airports to land at. And it was even more expensive than owning a bike! Things change over time. Usually for me to maintain an interest, I have to find some way to put a different angle on it and keep it fresh as well as find some balance by doing other activities. Like any relationship (with a person, job, hobby or anything else), there needs to be some time away for other things - another interest. Maybe give it a rest for a while. Throw a tarp over the bikes and learn a new skill - maybe one that can be shared with others. Then when you come back to it see what it's like then. If it still falls flat then you probably know you're done with it.

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Yup. I've been in the same boat. My wife is pregnant so on one hand, I can ride a faster pace because I don't have to worry about her trying to keep up. On the other hand, I have nobody to ride with so that gets boring real fast. I've tried jumping on a couple local forums to find some like-minded people to ride with, but I'm not 20 anymore and there are just some things I don't care to so anymore (e.g. chop wheelies in stop and go traffic...).

Part of it comes down to riding the same old roads over and over. Every once in a while I find a new route to ride that I find new and exciting, but I will overdue that route and it gets old as well.

TLDR: Yup. I've been there... But I'm still in denial...

Sent from my OnePlus One using Forum Fiend

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I have definitely experienced depleted mojo caused by crashing. I was just getting over TMAC 2013 at this year's tmac. Mostly because I'd only ridden about 3500mi in between.

This is something else. It's not a fear. Lack of desire is the easiest way to describe it.

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I haven't ridden much in the last 2 years due to a number of reasons. I don't ride unless it's at least a good 4-5 hour 200 - 250 miles get away. I never use the motorcycle to run errands or to go to work. That type of traffic and those types of riding are not appealing to me. Then you throw in all the distracted drivers today due to cell phones, and it causes the risk / reward factor to come into question.

From 2003 to 2008 I put 60,000 miles on my 2003 VFR (my first bike ever). In late 2008 I bought a 2009 Goldwing because my wife wanted a more comfortable ride. Since then I've put 1000 miles on the VFR and 40,000 miles on the Goldwing. May be I'm just becoming a wimp but I like the longer rides on the more comfortable bike and it's fun when my wife goes along.

I'll probably be selling the VFR here in the near future (I will stay in touch with the VFRD folks though). I can't justify tags and insurance every year to see it parked. Yes riding for me has taken a back seat for a while but I hope to pick it up in the next few years.

Good luck with what ever choice you make.

Mark

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riding motorcycle is a dopamine release similar to drugs and adult activities. After awhile you gain a tolerance and get burned out. So if you cant elevate doing more exciting motorcycle activities, try and find something else that can be exciting. I was the same until I got divorced and discovered trackdays. Its been holding me over pretty well so far. I cant afford it either but being single now makes it easier to cut elsewhere to do it. Keep your head up, not much in life stays a constant. It may come back to you in one form or another.

Maybe try dirtbikes with the family?

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(I kept adding to my original post rather than get through it all before posting...)

I guess I should add that I've been riding for 19 years, and remember being excited about it for a major part of that time.

I learned to ride as a teen in FL because it was cheaper than a car. No fun roads to ride, so I guess commuting and long distance slabbing has been my default ever since. And solo.

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I've had a pair of XR's for a few years now, my son has a CRF150F. He's not super interested in riding right now, and that's probably for the best. I can't ride very many trails around here that don't cross a road or private property. My home property is too small to ride on. There are tracks around here, but the cheapest is $35/day on an open practice day. Cheaper than a road track for sure, but both of us riding there every weekend would cost over $300/mo just for access and gas, nevermind tires, maintenance, and all the rest. He just outgrew more of his gear this year and has more growing to do.

(I kept adding to my original post rather than get through it all before posting...)

I guess I should add that I've been riding for 19 years, and remember being excited about it for a major part of that time.

I learned to ride as a teen in FL because it was cheaper than a car. No fun roads to ride, so I guess commuting and long distance slabbing has been my default ever since. And solo.

I went back for another read-through, thanks.

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It has it's ups & downs like everything. I get it on the maintenance front, the things you own end up owning you & there's always a million things that need to be done instead of going for a ride.

But, living in the moment, waiting for the next corner, next braking marker, tip in point, all have a very clarifying & flow on effect on the rest of my life - a reset switch if you like, where everything else doesn't seems so bad & I get more inspired to do other things, so taking that time out can actually be beneficial & better than half doing something because you know you have to.

If you're not enjoying it, there's no harm in taking a break. Personally, I only commute & do the odd (none lately) trackday, mainly because it's too hard on my license to ride on the road like I want to!

Group rides are a wash out for me these days, too many idiots & crashes, but lately I've been on a few rides with a mate who's just starting out - we keep the pace legal, more of a social outing, stop for a beer & a chat.

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I'm kind of at that point myself.....again. Thirty years of riding as of this summer. I've sold my bike and all of my gear twice before because I was done with this hobby. I now have the best bike I've ever had with the most farkles and the best gear but riding is a chore for me right now. I'm at that point of considering selling it all or maybe just letting it chill in the garage for a while in hopes that the fire will pick up again. I'm an ATGATT guy and it feels more like a hassle now than an exciting prep for a ride. I DO ENJOY long rides like the 5000 miler I did last fall but the time and budget doesn't exist for that on a regular basis. I do still commute as much as possible with dreams of all day rides when I have a day off. However, when the free time pops up, I usually pass in favor of something else. I don't like the feeling of not knowing exactly what I want to do with the whole idea of riding but I keep hopping on it in hopes of a good day. :lobby:

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"Now I have a garage full of bikes and I can't figure out if I'm living a dream or a nightmare. So much work. I used to just go for a ride to get a quick escape. Take a day and get away. Today, I had my 6th gen sitting in my driveway all day with the key in it, ready to go, and I couldn't be bothered to take it out for a spin."

Sounds like you feel a bit trapped under a pile of bikes and parts. Bikes are your hobby, and should be fun 'cause its something you want to do, not need to do. I felt a bit like that after my crash in december - ive only got one vfr project bike and my MT09 though.

Only been commuting because my wrist has been slowly getting better, and because my wife has taken a bit of time to be OK with me riding again.

Went out for my first fun ride since the crash yesterday with my brother on his tuono, and me on the MT. It felt good to do it just for fun, not because i need to get to work. Working on the vfr is fun again, because i dont need to do it for registration (got my mech inspection done by my usual guy who knows how awesome it is so didn't need to see it). Hell, even going to the gym to strengthen my arm has put a smile on my face a bit, which has made me want to tinker and ride a bit more.

Considering I've been riding for 20 years and can almost sit my final test for a car licence, I'm a little different to most. I got married on crutches from a crash 5 weeks before my wedding. My wife is a bit different to most as well.

Maybe simplify things for a little while, take a break for a bit, and come back.

Beside, you just finished that fighter. send it to me in Aus if you need some room in your garage.

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Hi Seb, I know the feeling of being overwhemed w/ the amount of unfinished projects and may be selling many as Timmy just did. But I still get a kick out of even a short ride (backroads only), ie on friday I was working all day demo ing my front deck than pouring concrete footings, but I ate ,took a shower and rode to town and felt revived ( except the fact that 2 chp's followed me into the gas station shortly after I took my helmet off, with their lights on and just looked @ me and rolled on w/ their lights still on and left(think maybe they were trying to tell me not to have so much fun)). Most of my rides are by myself cause my brother has been having cervical issues and hasn't ridden and I don't do group rides well (except the VFRD ride w/ Brian , ECN and the group last fall was a blast and I did do 3 or 4 Marin Sunday morning rides on hwy 1) Today I took a ride over Carson and Monitor pass and went flyfishing for a couple of hrs on the East Fork of the Carson, thought about it yesterday,but just couldn't get motivated, but it ended up being a nice ride. I'm not familar w/ your location and don't know how much congestion there is , but I've enjoyed taking a map and riding every backroad I could find then highlighting them in yellow(got all of Marin and Sonoma counties west of the 101 last summer.) Sorry about rambling on but I' hope you can figure out a way to rekindle the buz you used to get by riding, if not take a break( but don't sell that awesome street fighter you just built)( by the way been riding and tickling my toes on the backroads up in the Sierra's for 45 years and counting)

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Riding a motorcycle with doubts in your head is a dangerous game.

As for being selfish towards your wife and child, if you are a biker (by heart), you are a biker. Many many moons ago when our son was born, there were serious complications. Life threatening complications

Riding my MC was a part of me staying sane. In fact my wife would TELL me to go out and ride....

The most important person in my life is ME; if I am not in balance, how can I -continue long time- to be there for others.

Sell most of your bikes, see how you like that, if this makes you a better person.

If not, ok you probably threw away some -perceived- value. But if you don't try, you will never know.

In the end, it will not matter, for your last coat has no pockets...

I am no racer, no track days, like just to go out riding by myself and leave everything else behind. No thinking of family, work, future.

Simply enjoying the "loneliness"................

Whatever you decide:

what is for you

will not go past you

:beer:

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Hey Seb - one of the reasons I said what I said in your SF topic is because I've been seeing you spend so much time in the workshop... you love making stuff and that's fine, great, but you can get trapped by it.

Also ask yourself if you've lost interest in other things, not just the bikes? We go through lots of changes during our lives, sometimes our brain takes a turn we don't expect or see coming... if you're finding it hard to enjoy other things as well, you might need to look a little deeper than the bikes/workshop side of things. I've had to do that myself...

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Yea man I know that feeling, Ive gotten into bicycling and some times when I am on the motorcycle and motor past a bicyclist riding up the road I am on I think I should be doing that and getting into shape. Seems I get sick of riding at times, I have actually found a whole new passion in riding my scooter around town. I still love my cross country trips and the vfrd meets, ive never been fast either and money is tight here too so I just keep it toned down now. I still ride and I still enjoy being on the bike but I dont feel the need to ride it as much as I used to. Sorry to say I feel the same about vfrd! I still love the site I still own it, I do the things I need to keep it going but I dont log in every day anymore, mostly work screws that up! I just dont have the time.. seems time is always short! Not hanging up my helmet and keyboard up just yet but its getting a bit of dust on it lately. I suppose its like anything else in life too much of one thing spoils it, moderation is the key.

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Seb et al. -

Some pretty impressive riders on this thread. I'm not in the same class, but you guys are breaking my heart, I've got to chime in.

It's been 40 years since my first crash; 6 years since my "last" crash. Either one should have put me underground.

I forced myself to get back on the horse quickly, and that was good I think. Then about 3 years ago, I too lost the love. I didn't consciously take a break, but went an entire summer only put on 100 miles. I even stopped following VFR Discussion!

Life happens too, for all of us. I know for me, life off the bike has been rocked by the things we humans must endure. I'm not complaining though, lots of good things happened too.

My love for the bike returns, gradually. While I'm riding less than before I think I'm enjoying it more. Hey, I even posted again about 2 months ago.

So this isn't really advice, just a testimonial.

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And if you do give it up , hope you make it back some day .

In the words of the great philosopher Foster Gump " That's all I have to say about that."

Roll On SEB !!!

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Is it because I feel selfish if I don't take the wife or boy with me?

I obviously don't know you as well as some on this forum, but I can speak to this point. I am still a new rider for the most part; only 5 years experience. Commuting to work still gives me thrills. Two summers ago I was getting ready to meet some friends on the bike when both my daughters had a sad look on their faces and said that I was always gone on the bike. They wanted to spend time with dad and felt that the bike was more important to me. That was a slap in the face for sure. I don't want to miss these times. I felt guilty and cut way back on my riding. I went from 6,000 miles a year to just under 2,000. My kids are still of an age where dad is cool and fun to be with.

I discovered that the less I was riding, the less I wanted to. I tried to reignite my passion with a new bike, but the guilt was there. Just recently my family saw that I was getting mopey and told me to go for some rides and they would have mommy/daughter dates. We seem to be finding a good balance. If your son is still in the age group where dad is cool and you perhaps feel guilty for riding, park the bikes and focus on that. You'll know if you still have the love of riding eventually.

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I'm not going to be leaving VFRD and I don't think my garage will ever be completely devoid of a ready-to-ride motorcycle.

Really putting myself out here now... my son is a little over 12. I'm 33. Back then I decided I would be a responsible adult and since I can't control myself on the bike, I have to refrain from riding. There, I said it.

I can't get tickets or crash if the bike is parked. It doesn't get dirty or require much maintenance that way either.

I can keep up on the lawn and home improvements with a little less stress if I'm not also worried about how to fit a ride in. If I don't ride,I can try to chew up all the other bike projects I bit off.

I am definitely still making parts - I still put those first even though it takes a good bit of time away. It's the only way I can get a bit of play money actually.

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Does your son show much interest? I think you got him a dirt bike, didn't you? Look at CornerCarver. Took a couple decades, but he's loving getting to share it with his boys.

Like you said, not planning to remove all two wheels from the garage. Always nice to know it's there if you have a nice afternoon to go for a ride.

I'm totally against knee down on the street. Just no need for it. Good to know the principles to have that bit of reserve, but I'm totally happy not trying to prove I can keep up with Rossi. You'd be surprised how many "legal" passes I've been doing lately. Maybe not posted limit, but I can hang out behind slower traffic for a few miles and see what happens. Often a passing zone happens...LOL!

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Get a sidecar rig. The newer Urals supposedly are reliable. With all the unimproved roads upstate I think it would be a blast for everyone.

I need to get rid of a couple of bikes. Registration and title fees has gotten stupid in the counties around NY city due to the imposed MTA surcharges. Ethanol in the gas is a pain and tires dry out and crack before the tire gets near wearing out. Maybe less IS more.

Been watching Ewan Macgregor and Charley Boorman biking through Africa on Netflix. Having a mate to ride with definitely helps. Too big a group sucks.

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